You fucking bastard. I can't believe what you did. Your two years of sobriety don't make up at all for all the bloody shit you've smeared all over the walls of this house. And you're still a bastard! You edge yourself into any situation, absolutely desperate to make yourself a part of my life, even though you don't know why you want to edge yourself in, or why there's even a situation to edge yourself into! What kind of father prefers one child to another and tells them about it? And your ego is still so bloated! You think you deserve an equal paycheck as a doctor, or someone like Moo who's been working years to make up for what smoeone like you did! You're the reason we don't have a big house on the right side of the tracks, like most of my friends do. You may think that you only spent a few days our of a few years drugging, but you were HIGH most of that time, of course you don't remember! Do you remember that time you went out for orange juice and chicken to make dinner at seven PM and you said you'd only be gone a minute, and I eventually passed out, yes, PASSED OUT, as in, went UNCONSCIOUS, at 10:30 and you still weren't home? Remember how you used to get so angry at the tiniest things? Remember that time the neighbor's puppy was in my room, laying in my arms, and you stormed in like a beast of fury and ripped the poor little thing away from me and threw it across the room, where its head hit the doorframe because you said it was keeping me awake? I bet you don't. I bet you were too fucking coked up to. I knew you were not to be messed with that night, because you had actually *thrown* a *dog*. Where do you get off, being gone half of my childhood (being that you were off bingeing on drugs, three days in a row sometimes), getting sobriety and insisting that because you come over on Sundays, you're a great dad? It's easy to be good at it when you don't have to deal with the day-to-day problems I might have. Remember how you spent Moo's entire paycheck (on several occasions), and we had to go almost completely without food for a week, because you'd also run up the credit cards to the max? Remember the time when I told Moo you hadn't been home at all that night, and you yelled at me that you were, you just left, and I was sleeping while you were there. Nevermind the fact that you left us unattended for hours, anyway. Remember the time just before The Second Revelation that you came home at six AM and Moo yelled at you for being gone, and you tried to DEFEND yourself, your stance, even though I knew that you had left at midnight, ostensibly for cigarettes, and had been awake watching HBO since, so I knew you hadn't been home? Remember how when I was little, Moo used to have to take a taxi to work because you had had the car since the night before? Remember how you talked about how Moo "emasculated" you because she didn't trust you with her money anymore? Remember how you were out of work for most of my early life, and lied to Moo about having job interviews to you could go out and get some blow? You are scum.
Last five
Farewell! at 3:57 pm, Jul. 01, 2005
urf. at 10:33 am, May. 03, 2005
Trainwreck lady. at 10:16 am, May. 03, 2005
gvf hbb jnghvbh jlkm jhfgcc at 9:42 am, May. 03, 2005
My Dland is my dream journal now. at 8:43 am, Mar. 25, 2005